IS IT TIME TO MEND THOSE BROKEN FRIENDSHIPS
by: Ana Martinez-Feliciano
After the tumultuous election of 2020, many of us experienced a great division amongst family and friends. Biden won, Trump is out… now what? Are we moving towards repairing those relationships or not?
What about relationships that may have suffered from the trials of being in a pandemic? Or those relationships that were already broken before quarantine made them even worse?
Now, this is my opinion, and mine alone. I’m not a psychologist, or a life coach, or any kind of relationship expert. All I know and all I have are my personal experiences, so hear me out.
I feel that every relationship that has been broken should be mended.
Again, I think every single broken relationship, no matter what, should be fixed. Now let me explain.
What I mean is, we all need to address the issues that may be causing a problem between us and any other person. Who wants to walk around with all of the baggage of disliking someone, arguing with them, or having some kind of grudge? I don't!
Now, trust me, I was NOT always this person! I used to be able to hold a grudge like it was my JOB. But, if we have learned anything lately, it is that life is too short to hold on to hate.
Forgiveness is incredibly healing. One of my favorite quotes is,
“Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
Now, let me be clear - I’m not saying to forgive and let people walk all over you. Absolutely not. I truly believe that people should be held accountable for their actions, and I also believe in calling people out if they are taking you for a fool or acting like an idiot.
However, why hold on to that anger?
If you find it difficult to forgive someone, or find it hard to fix the relationship to the point where you are on decent terms, having/feeling closure on the topic, whatever it may be, then do this…
What helps me is understanding this, and I repeat it to myself, in my head, until I fully understand it and accept it.
People’s actions have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with you, and EVERYTHING to do with them.
As human beings we are all broken. We all make mistakes, no one is perfect. Someone can only meet you WHERE THEY ARE, not WHERE YOU ARE! If the person who hurt you has not matured emotionally to the level where you are, or can’t argue in a healthy manner, or decides to hold a grudge AGAINST YOU, the only thing you can do is forgive them and walk away.
Is that easy? No. Is it worth it? I promise you. IT IS.
Once you forgive and move on, you feel SO MUCH BETTER. You feel ten pounds lighter and your brain feels clearer because you are not holding onto that emotional baggage.
Let it go. Let it go. LET THAT SH*! GO!
It’s 2021…Now that we know better, we do better.